Special Double-Sized 50th Post!

Lizard Invasion!

On Sunday, Monkey-Girl was the on-call chaplain. She was called away to back-to-back emergencies at two different hospitals. In anticipation of my loneliness, the above lizard (yes, I'm posting my own photos now) ran into to the apartment as Monkey-Girl was leaving.

Sorry there's nothing in the picture for scale. Just trust me when I claim he was a whopping two inches from head to tail. As cute as this little guy was, my first inclination was to let him be. The hospital says we can't have Mercutio with us so we may as well have a lizard friend for a pet. We'd name him Hermes. Then my logical brain woke up and reminded me that that was a bad idea.

Now, how to trap and release a two-inch, fast as all get out, delicate-looking lizard? I grabbed a coffee mug and set two work trying to envelope and not bisect the erstwhile Hermes. (I like words.) I managed to trap the little guy without injury to either of us. I then noticed that I was trapped standing on a chair in my pyjamas with my arm extended over my head holding a coffee mug against the wall. The stare-down began.

As I was beginning to lose feeling in my finger tips (probably three minutes into our test of wills,) I realized that my initial plan was not going to work. I lifted the mug to find my would-be Hermes blinking at me. What followed was not a tale for the meek.

I, a man of thirty Wisconsin winters, chased a lizard the length of my little finger out my front door by banging an empty mug against the wall. At least I had the sense to pull on a less revealing outfit. Mom, I hope you're proud.


Megatron's Trophy

As Monkey-Girl has actually run out of knitting projects, I did a little exploring on The Internet. (Blogger insists on the capitals.) I suggested that she try to make a stuffed penguin.

As you can see, someone misunderstood. Megatron, despotic ruler of the evil Decepticons, wanted to help. He thought that in order to make a stuffed penguin one would need to have a penguin pelt. Before we could explain his error (try telling a tyrant bent on universal domination he's wrong,) he was off.

Days later he returned with this gruesome headdress. He gathered the other Depeticons around and told the saga of his tracking of the fearsome beast. He'd gone without energon for days; tracking his quarry his only concern. Suddenly, half delirious, he spotted the terrible creature. The two combatants, locked in mortal combat, moved like lightning. When the dust finally settled, the victor held aloft his opponent's corpse and let forth a primal scream.

"He was a worthy adversary," declared Megatron. "He shall be immortalized in the Decepticon annals. Prepare his body for eternity, slave!"

He tossed the lifeless skin at Monkey-Girl's feet. (Megatron can be a jerk sometimes.)

Anyway, Monkey-Girl is almost done with her latest project.