#041 - Catch My Drift, part 3

Drift: Mindwipe, Skystalker; we will meet you at headquarters. Megatron wants us ALL a victory ceremony prior to the leaders’ meeting.

Mindwipe: I’ll see that Skystalker does nothing to embarrass you, sir.

Skystalker: What!?


Drift: Bludgeon and I must leave now if we’re to make it on time. We can’t all be blessed with flight modes, my friend. Mindwipe, make sure you make it there safely.


Skystalker: Why’s he always talking to you like you’re the boss?

Mindwipe: I DO outrank you.

Skystalker: Really? . . . gimme a ride back to base.

Mindwipe: I don’t think so—

Skystalker: Do it or, I swear to Primus, I’ll whine the whole way.


Skystalker: Now, isn’t this nice?

Mindwipe: *sigh*


Ramjet: Hey youse!

Skystalker: Hey yourself, aft breath.

Mindewipe: That is no way to greet a fellow Decepticon, Skystalker . . . even one of Starscream’s lowly Seekers.


Ramjet: I don’t know nuddin’ ‘bout dat, but I do know a couple a’ ‘Cons wit bearings da size a’ Unicron when I sees ‘em.

Mindwipe: What are you talking about?

Ramjet: Oh yeah! I’m s’posed ta believe you don’t know ‘bout Drift’s little coup comin’ up. Fer youse’s sake I hope Megatron believes dat.


Ramjet: I gots ta git. See youse at da ceremony. It’ll be a BLAST!

Mindewipe: Sky stalker, please get off of me.


Skystalker: What’s up, big guy?

Mindwipe: I feel a tremendous weight has been put on me.

Skystalker: After the load of scrap that pointy-headed freak just dropped, it’s no wonder.

#040 - Catch My Drift, part 2

Starscream: Just finishing off your half of the battlefield, Drift? My Seekers have nearly completed clean-up.


Drift: The Autobots have been defeated. My soldiers are satisfied.


Starscream: Your barbarians' satisfaction is not the point. Destroying the enemy efficiently is what matters.


Skywarp: Starscream, Megatron* wants to meet with all field commanders. We've collected a flag dropped by the retreating Autobots as a trophy to present to him.

Starscream: Excellent. Lord Megatron shall see which of his units is superior.


Drift: Skystalker!


Skystalker: What!!


Drift: Did any of our retreating enemies leave something behind?


Bludgeon: No, sir! This one dropped something as he hit the ground though.

*This story takes place before the events of Advent, Day Eighteen.

#039 - Catch My Drift, part 1

DRIFT used to fight for MEGATRON,


and was known as one of the most terrible warriors ever to stalk the face of CYBERTRON.*


Mindwipe: Great work, Drift. You are truly an inspiration to all Decepticons.


Drift: . . . .


Mindwipe: Great talking with you, sir!


Thrust: How can you idolize that jerk?

Mindwipe: Jerk!? He's the coolest, most dangerous 'bot there is.


Thrust: How do you know he's cool? You've never spoken to him. I don't think he CAN speak!

Mindwipe: Have you seen The Matrix?

Thrust: Yes.


Mindwipe: Neo was cool in SPITE of Keanu Reeves speaking, not because of it.

Thrust: Touché.

*From the AUTOBOT DRIFT toy packaging.

Two Flippers Up for Ancestor!

Scott Sigler's new book Ancestor is a great read and well worth your cash.

If you like a fast-paced horror story than you CANNOT go wrong with Sigler, the self-described Future Dark Øverlord TM.

Full disclosure, if you click the link I might win a prize for promoting the book. I can honestly say that I recommend this and his other books, Infectious, and Contagious.

Besides, the FDØ TM is one of the hardest working people in New Media. He's been podcasting for "28 STRAIGHT YEARS!" Doesn't that deserve a little recognition?

#038 - The Call: Epilogue part 2

STILL in the Basement . . .


Hot Rod: Hey, guys! We found the dice.

Mirage: You would not BELIEVE how tough it was, dudes.


Brain Center: Oh, thank Primus!


Sideswipe: Oh, cool. I guess.

Sun Streaker: Actually, we like the way we're playing now.


Brain Center: I hate you all.


Hot Rod: You ungrateful piles of scrap! If you knew what we had to do to get these things . . . .


Hot Rod: That is why I would like to introduce you to your new Dungeon Master: Ratchet.


Ratchet: And may I introduce . . . "Mr. Paper."

My Latest Excuse for Not Writing Seriously

Why is the essence of story conflict? Some say that life itself is a struggle. As human beings we recognize this at a nigh genetic level and unconsciously reject stories without opposition to the protagonist’s goal. Others say that stories are merely a form of escapism. Humans crave an adventure they do not get in their day-to-day lives.

I ask this as an aspiring writer. I look to the role models of authorship from both the past and present and I see . . . sad, sad people. It would seem that to be a great writer one must either suffer to such an extent that one simply MUST express himself or herself with the written word. Perhaps some less tortured souls have striven to present stories for the sake of the stories themselves, but after years of negotiating conflict on the page the creators have been corrupted.

Another cause may be the publishing industry itself. I imagine that the brave scribes that have lovingly crafted their prose and sent them to editors and agents only to be soundly rejected, often with a form letter rather than a personal reply, may have had their sense of joy calcified. For the lucky few that have passed through the gates of traditional publishing there exist the critics: they who mercilessly feast off the flesh of creators.

In this day and age of “New Media” several new writers have risen to the fore by rejecting the publishing industry itself. Some have blogged their work chapter by chapter. Some have created podcasts of themselves reading their words. There are even a few Twitter novels out in cyberspace. Imagine a story doled-out one hundred forty characters at a time.

For a time, I considered throwing in with this band of adventurous novelists, modern bards if you will. Several factors have delayed my decision, not the least of which is the fact that I have little content ready for mass consumption. I think now that I will continue my delay indefinitely.

You see, I find these pioneers of storytelling to be, as a whole, a very cynical lot. This impression comes from my experience with their blogs and podcasts dealing with the “business” side of being a storyteller. I won’t get into the details here, but I will say that optimism, as far as storytelling goes, is soundly rejected as being “too corny,” or “unrealistic.” Expressions of joy are derided as infantile. Main characters getting what they have always wanted without having to permanently lose something they prized is the greatest sin of all.

This community of writers may just be a microcosm of the tech savvy population: too cool to see that there is water in the glass at all. Perhaps they have forgotten the excitement of exploration that comes with this “New Media.” Maybe storytelling is, by its very nature, pessimistic.

My whole point in bringing any of this up is the fact that I am a recovering pessimist. (The first step to wellness is admitting you have a problem.) It’s something that I work to overcome on a daily basis. My problem, in terms of creativity, is seeking out and defining conflict in all situations. Everything has to be conflict driven in storycraft. “What does this character want, and who or what is opposing him?” This need to make one’s characters miserable in order to tell a compelling tale is hard to live with.

I realize that I write this while still attempting to craft a web comic. I understand that I am demonstrating an ability to create conflict. The difficulty I’m having is with REAL storytelling. Who reading this would argue that the stories I’ve told with my little robot toys are getting at a deep Truth of the human condition?

I want to tell Truth without damaging my spirit. Am I on a fool’s errand?

#037 - The Call: Epilogue part 1

Back in the Basement . . .


Brain Center: Wow, you've been doing great on this adventure. I'm really happy for you guys. (ahem) Now, as you descend the crumbling stairs the smell of decay overwhelms your olfactory sensors. A terrible lich is in the final stages of summoning--


Sunstreaker: I cast Incinerate Undead.

Brain Center: It has a fifty percent chance of failure.

Sunstreaker: Let's just resolve it.


Brain Center: Okay, one . . . two . . .


Brain Center: Three!
Sunstreaker: Three! Ha!! Rock smashes scissors. Eat it lich!!!


Brain Center: I was up all night designing this encounter. You guys are just trampling over it. How can you beat me EVERY time?


Sideswipe: You keep throwing scissors. It's like your claws are incapable of forming anything else.


Sixty Seconds Later . . .

Hound: Did we get a new table?

Inertia Conquered!

As this pack of Thumpers knows, overcoming the inertia of not posting for two-and-a-half months can be horrifying. (Seriously, this new design for Bambi's friend seemed like a GOOD idea?)

Here's a list of stuff I've been up to.

• Attending BotCon '10/Walt Disney World. This was especially fun with Mthr. M-G, Phoeb-a-loo, my mom, and sister-in-law. Five people in one room was tight. Florida was disgustingly hot. Still, we had a lot of fun.
• Selling off old Transformers toys. I made enough to pay for my admission to BotCon, the convention add-on toys, some more stuff from the dealers' room, a massage for Mthr. M-G, and . . .
• I bought a Wii. this is an incredible time suck. I mean that. It takes up a lot of time designing Miis, bowling, boxing, playing Mario Kart Wii, and . . .
• Watching movies and TV shows from Netflix Instant Watch. A Wii connected to the internet can stream movies from one's Netflix account. I've been spending a lot of time . . .
• Catching up on Doctor Who. In a word: awesome.

Now it's time to clean off the dining room table, set up some toys, and work on my TF comic.