Monday, December 29, 2008

There and Back Again


We witnessed over two feet of snowfall before Christmas while back in Wisconsin. It was lovely. Shown above is Racine's famous Wind Point lighthouse. Always lovely.

Monkey-Girl is now a deacon. I guess that means she'll need a new handle on this blog. Please post suggestions. The ordination service was wonderful. She was invited to serve at St. Michael's Church for the midnight mass on Christmas Eve. That was beautiful. All of my disappointments with All Saints' service were satisfied in that event. I'll never forget holding a sleeping Phoebe while singing "Silent Night" by candlelight in my home parish while my wife served in her first full service.

All in all it was a terrific trip and I have a ton of stories to tell. We're still unpacking, but I'll tell you more tomorrow.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

On the Road Again



. . . and we're off!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Three Day Weekend!


Actually, it's more of an Ice Day. In case you're wondering, ice and mountain roads make for a dangerous mix.

I get to stay home with Phoebe!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Coke Can Driving


When it's really foggy here on the moutain some of us refer to this legendary driving method. I thought about it tonight as I was coming home.

Monkey-Girl had it explained to her this way.
  1. Take a coke can. (Notice the lower case c on coke. We are in the South after all. If you order a Coke here, you'd better be prepared to explain what kind.)
  2. Pull your car over to the side of the road.
  3. Walk with your coke can until you can barely make out your car's headlights.
  4. Put the coke can down.
  5. Walk back to your car.
  6. Drive toward your coke can.
  7. Repeat steps 1 through 6 until you arrive at your destination.
  8. Enjoy your coke. (Hopefully it's an actual Coke.)

I'm sure this is only joke. Then again this IS the South.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Lessons and Carols 2008

Sunday evening I was able to attend the 49th annual Service of Lessons and Carols held at All Saints' Chapel. I have been told since before we even moved here that this was the be-all/end-all event of the Advent season.

I'm going to go ahead and give this a thumbs down.

Now, Monkey-Girl and a good friend of ours read as part of the service and my appraisal has NOTHING to do with their contribution. The music selection was beautiful. The readings were spot on. The chapel was gorgeous. The greenery was festive. I especially loved the program cover art, but I'm a sucker for art deco.

The "mega-event" nature of this thing is what turned me off. I was told that Lessons and Carols started off as a community event. It featured nearly all of the choirs on the Domain including the Otey Parrish Children's Choir. It was attended by people in the community as a lead-in to Christmas.

Now it's an overcrowded, over-hyped presentation for the donors. As Monkey-Girl was a participant in the program, I got a "reserved" seat. This meant that I didn't have to stand in line for two hours before the doors opened. The "reserved" section boasted row upon row of flimsy folding chairs spaced an un-exaggerated ten inches apart.

I seemed to be surrounded by University alumni and there underwhelmed teen-aged children. This was not the fault of the All Saints', mind you, but it did contribute to the atmosphere of let down.

Finally, the University Choir has to be called to task. I've been hearing since we first came to interview here over three years ago how wonderfully amazing this choir is. Let me tell you: the emperor is naked. I have been able to listen to the choir fairly regularly for almost a year as I attend Sunday services at All Saints'. My ear is untrained, but even I can tell that the soprano section is consistently sharp.

I know that this is incredibly biased, but I'll take Lessons and Carols followed by Midnight Mass at Saint Michael's of Racine over last night's event any time.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

I Feel Like Cocoa Tonight

A new mug (thanks 'Bergers!), a blustery evening, frazzled nerves, and the hope of early morning ice storms call for a special beverage. May I introduce Creamy Hot Cocoa?

  • 14 oz can sweetened condensed milk
  • 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 1/8 teaspoon salt
  • 6-1/2 cups water
  1. Mix first four ingredients in large saucepan over medium heat until well combined.
  2. Slowly add water and heat through. DO NOT BOIL.


Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Let the Holiday Specials Begin

Last night I watched Shrek the Halls and How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Commercials for A Charlie Brown Christmas were heavily featured.

Wow!

I love Christmas. I mean real Christmas; christian Christmas. I do a daily Bible reading leading up to the event each year. I love midnight mass with lessons and carols.

I also love secular Christmas. If you don't believe me check out my DVD collection. Rankin and Bass are far too heavily featured.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Thanksgiving Break: Extended!

Thanks to Tennessee's unwillingness to prepare for seasonable weather I have the day off. Being able to see leaves through the snow and not having to go to school would scandalize some people back home in Wisconsin. As it is I'll have one less day to get my students ready for the end-of-semester exam.

Oh, well. I guess I'll just have to enjoy the day with Phoebe.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Thank You, Everybody


Today I celebrate my 25 birthday. Wow, it seems like only yesterday I was celebrating my 24 birthday. I couldn't even drive back then! Looking ahead to my 26 just makes my head spin. By then, I'll be looking forward to retirement.

Thanks to everyone that sent me e-greeting via Facebook.

Sorry for the subtle math humor, but it's my birthday. You have let this one slide.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

LOSER!


Here it is, ladies and gentlemen. I am here to confess that I am officially a big, big loser.

You'll notice that the NaNoWriMo chart has been taken down. I'm out. I give up. I'm throwing in the towel. I was going strong for a while. I made my daily word count goals for a week straight, but I was a wreck. My time at home with Phoebe and Monkey-Girl was stressed. I Wasn't sleeping enough and my time teaching was suffering.

The founder of NaNoWriMo published a book No Plot? No Problem!: A Low-Stress, High-Velocity Guide to Writing a Novel in 30 Days. Well, low-stress it was not.

My time writing wasn't a total loss. I now have 10,000 words of original fiction generated by myself. That's the most writing I've done in years!I guess I'll have to try again next year when Phoebe isn't such a handful.

Thanks for the words of encouragement.

Let the jeers begin!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Do It


Today's the day. We've had over a year of lead up. It's all anyone's talking about. Half of the people I know will be elated by the results while the other half will be skulking for days, claiming to have lost faith in their fellow man.

Wouldn't it be a shame not to participate?

I did and I have a full time job, four month old baby, a wife in seminary, and I'm writing a novel. What's your excuse?

Friday, October 31, 2008

30 Days of Literary Abandon


In just under two hours I will be embarking on one of the scariest endeavors. Hot off the heals of my victory in NaBloPoMo (it's official as of now) I'm throwing caution to the wind yet again. In fact, I'm raising the stakes.

I am a participant in this year's National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). The challenge here is to write a 50,000 word novel in the month of November. The reward: the first draft of a novel.

For someone like me who has said, "I'd like to write a book someday," this is a shot in the arm like no other. The goal is 1,667 words a day. We're not going for literary genius. We're looking for words on the page. December is for editing.

The program is not without its critics, but what isn't. The main critique is that nothing good can be written quickly. I know this to be untrue. Professional writers produce 2,000 words a day. Many of them hold down day jobs. (Professional novelists make about $5,000 a year.)

The other objection seems to be that people that need encouragement of this type probably shouldn't be novelist anyway. What elitist garbage! There must have been something that encouraged every novelist that ever wrote to plant his or her butt in a chair and put words to page. Who's to say what is and isn't a valid motive?

Let me climb down from my soapbox and get to work. I'll be posting here infrequently if at all in November. Check the NaNoWriMo widget at the right and the details link just below it to check up on me. Please, shout at me if I'm falling behind schedule. There's no motivation like guilt.

See you on the other side of this. Hopefully I'll have a manuscript in hand.

Dubose 2008


This lovely vision comes to you courtesy of the Dubose Lecture Series. The series is an annual two-day event featuring a guest lecturer and a formal dinner and dance. It also serves as a homecoming for the seminary's alumni.

Monkey-Girl and I got to get all gussied up and leave Phoebe in the more that capable hands of the seminary sitters. We spent some quality time with many of our friends that have graduated and moved on to life in the real world of ordained ministry. (Super scary!) Everyone loves it which is good news considering we've come this far.

By special request, I've finally updated Phoebe's picks. I'm sorry it took me a month.

Just one more post and it'll be official. I will have successfully participated in NaBloPoMo for October 2008. (That sounds so dirty.)

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Still Great After 42 Years


I missed It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown on television last night. Fortunately, I have the Charlie Brown and Garfield holiday specials on DVD now. It looks like Phoebe and I will have something to watch while bigger kids are trick-or-treating this Friday.

Scary Stuff


We're watching An American Werewolf in London.

Tomorrow is "hump day" and I haven't been sleeping well all week.

Saturday I start my project and I'm SO under prepared.

On the bright side, I only have three days left to reach my goal.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

No Soup for Me!


Well tonight at least. We had a pizza.

Monkey-Girl took a test while I attempted to watch Phoebe. I failed, but fortunately the test was manageable enough for Monkey-Girl to calm Phoebe down while finishing.

I got to pull my weight by making soup for the School of Theology's bake sale to benefit the daycare program. As Phoebe participates in the program we felt obligated to provide something. I made caramel bars (delicious, but gooey) and pumpkin soup (a warm autumn hug.)

If you can, stop by and buy.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

The Fourth Commandment



After the crazy weekend we had, Monkey-Girl, Phoebe, Mercutio, and I decided to sleep in, have a really nice breakfast (I cooked), cuddle (all four of us), watch Clerks II, and do some light house work.

God--not so strangely--was right. We need a sabbath. How can we be expected to give our best any other time if we don't take some time to recharge?

I once heard that if you like a pair of shoes enough to wear them everyday you should buy two pair and rotate wearing them every day. The result, I'm told, is that the shoes last twice as long. Instead of one pair lasting a year, you'll have two pair lasting four.

This may not work for a certain demographic, but the point is still valid. Shoes--like people--last longer when they are allowed to rest. Besides, God commanded it, and shouldn't we be rested in order to give him our absolute best?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Done


Wow! Two days of bartending can sure take it out of you. I'm just lucky that I'm not Monkey-Girl, one of the behind-the-scenes champs that makes homecoming run so smoothly. By the time she gets home it'll be tomorrow and she'll have logged nearly thirty hours over the last three days, many with Phoebe in tow.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Bartending for Fun and Profit . . .


, but mostly profit.

Nick of Time


I got this one in just under the wire, but it still counts.

Also, I totally want that clock.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

What I Need Right Now


I really need a kick in the pants.

I've got huge plans for my creative life in November. I should be prepping for that, but instead I've spent an hour looking for a fun picture to tie into my post for the night. I know I'm setting myself up for failure. If I don't get the preliminary work done it will be so much easier to walk away early in the game. I do this to myself all the time. I take on a big ambitious project, fail to prepare, then decide to scrap the whole thing before I've really begun.

Grrrrr!!!

This Soda is Prime


The pun may be unforgivable, but it's also irresistible.

I cannot put into mere words the joy my discovery of fresh Sierra Mist Cranberry Splash has wrought. I expressed my undying love for this beverage last year, but its limited edition status makes it a rare treat off-season. I confess to having saved a 12-pack from last year until mid-June. There was even a tear in my eye as we pulled into my mother's garage last week and I found a ten month old 2-liter of this stuff gazing longingly at me.

When Monkey-Girl called to ask me to pick up some diapers for the Phoebmeister, I wasn't expecting the the rainclouds of my day to part the way they did when I walked down the soda aisle on a whim. In addition to the pictured 20-ounce bottle, I also picked up two 12-packs. I know the rule is three sentences to a paragraph, but that first one was such doozey I'll let myself slide. Wait, that last one made three and this one makes four. I should probably reconsider this whole paragraph.

Optimus Prime (red), Ultra Magnus (white), and Nemesis Prime (black) are all posing around my Cranberry Splash in an effort to absorb some extra cool. Can your soda do that?

Monday, October 20, 2008

Back to Work


All good things must come to an end. So it is with fall break. We arrived just before 8pm last night, unpacked, cared for baby, changed the sheets (thanks to a certain kitty's hair ball), called parents to let them know we survived the trip and finally collapsed into bed.

I made it through my day on cruise control and got home to wife and baby just fine, but now I think I'm coming down with something.

On the bright side, I've just got 11 more days to reach my post-a-day goal. (Why did I have to pick a month with 31 days?)

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Movin' Right Along


All good things must come to an end. So it goes with our time back in Wisconsin. We'll be on the road most of the day and then it's back to the same old same old tomorrow.

Thanks Bergers and Grammy Hawley. We had a great time staying with you. See you in five weeks!

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Congrats, Kids!


Welcome to the family, Mandy. We love you.

Ben, take care of your ladies. I don't care if you are my brother. I can still kick your butt.

It was a wonderful service and reception. Have fun and take care of each other.

Danger Maze, part IX


The junk yard had a welding torch and enough oxygen-acetylene to do the job. They also had a rubber-tired tractor with a front scoop that B.A. bought with a fistful of the ready cash which the team had hidden in the van.

All they needed was some bullet-proofing for the front tires and the driver. It was a messy job, with rusted slabs of steel hastily welded to pieces of car still wearing enamel paint. There was very little space for the driver and not much in the way of maneuvering room. "Let's go," B.A. said, squeezing into the small turret-like space.

"Head 'em up, move 'em out!" Murdock cried.

~#~

"Great balls of fire," Face whispered to Hannibal over the radio. "Lookit that!"

Hannibal laughed before he called Murdock on the small radio. "Go right in at them," he ordered. "Fast enough to get their attention but slow enough for Face to get the kid out."

"Hot-diggity-dog, Colonel," Murdock cried. "It is property destruction time!"

The armored tractor lumbered over the ruts and came straight at the shack. A rifle shot whined off the scoop, held out like steel fist. Then they hit.


Crash!

The kidnapper jumped out of the way as the tractor took the front porch off the house. Murdock helped him on his way with a burst of machine gun fire at his heels.

B.A. swung the tractor around. Several more shots pinged off the metal. One snapped through the cab's many cracks and ricocheted around the cab but didn't hit B.A.

The vehicle lumbered straight at the house and B.A. caught a glimpse of Face running away through the sagebrush carrying the boy. B.A. grinned and gunned the motor.

Houses do not stand well without three walls, which is what B.A.'s first pass took out. The two inside kidnappers were knocked out, and by the time the burly black man had turned off the engine, Murdock and Hannibal Smith had all three captured.

"We could rent it out for demolition, B.A.," smiled Hannibal, patting the rusting armor.

"Boy all right?" Hannibal nodded.

"Scared, but okay.
And we have the money, and the Good Guys are once again Triumphant!"

"As it should be, Colonel, me darlin'," Murdock said. "As it should be."


THE END

Friday, October 17, 2008

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Phoebe, Meet Phoebe


It's been a while since I had something of my own to say and so I'm holding off on the conclusion to The Danger Maze for one more day. I know I've been slacking lately, but how much Mr. T can one man be expected to endure?

Tonight I will introduce you to a little movie from 1987 titled Monster Squad. Just released on DVD last year in order to celebrate its big twentieth anniversary, this film is sure . . . something.

I remember going to see it with my family when it was first released. I was 10. Even then I could spot what it was: a kiddie monster movie. My brother was 6 and my sister was 4. They were able to get through the thing without a tear. I, like every boy that has seen this bit of cinema, was able to retain one thing across the years: "Wolfman's got nards!"

The premise: Dracula and the forces of evil are held in check by an amulet of pure good. Every 100 years, one side gets a chance to defeat the other forever. In 1987, the clock has cycled through again and this time a bunch of preteen misfits have been called to bat for team good.

The afore mentioned forces of evil are in fact the "Universal Monsters" which is interesting since this is a Lion's Gate film. I guess Dracula was a character in a book as was Frankenstein's monster and the copyrights on those expired a long time ago. A werewolf wasn't unique to its movie anymore than a mummy was to its. The only questionable player would be "Gillman." He looks a lot like the title character from The Creature from the Black Lagoon and one of the kids actually calls him "the creature." I guess Universal gave them a pass since Stan Winston did such an amazing job on him.

I was a little surprised by the amount of out-of-the-blue swearing in this thing. Also, the coolest kid of the bunch smokes. This script would need some major revisions before getting shot today.

"So why Monster Squad?" you may ask. The answer, in short, is my mom. She has loved this movie from the time she brought us to see it all those years ago. Her favorite part is Frankenstein's monster's relationship with the kid sister, Phoebe.

A few years back I was attending Wizard World-Chicago and gave a casual glance to the bootleg DVD sellers. When I saw Monster Squad in among copies of the Star Wars Holiday Special and Transformers: Headmasters, I knew I had to get it for my mom.

When my daughter, Phoebe (absolutely NOT named for the girl in the film I assure you), was up visiting Wisconsin last time, Grammy wanted to show Phoebe the movie with the other Phoebe. The problem was there was no DVD in the case. My mom told me that she had seen the movie a couple of times since its black market purchase. It had probably been lost in the move.

My Phoebe decided to rectify the whole situation and buy Grammy a new, legal copy to enjoy. We watched it tonight, and I must say it was sure . . . something. My mom was wiping her face after the scene with Phoebe saying an emotional goodbye to Frankenstein's monster.

Totally worth the ten bucks.

Danger Maze, part VIII


The dark van bumped over the dirt road, a thick plume of dust behind. Face got out and sauntered up to the house as one of the men he recognized as a kidnapper came out carrying a shotgun. "Howdy," Face said. "You new around here?"

"Whattya want?"

"Oh, just being neighborly. Got a spread over that way 'bout fifteen, eighteen miles," Face drawled. "Sell snakes, reptiles, things like that."

"Whattya want, man?"

"Glass of water would be nice," Face said, walking casually by the man and up on the weathered porch. "And have you seen any unusual looking snakes around? Big black ones with yellow diamonds. Darn fool tanglefoot, he let a passel of then get out. They went in
every direction about a week ago. Caught one only a mile from here yesterday." Face was on the porch, but the shotgun-carrying crook was right behind him. "Water in here?" Face said innocently and opened the screen door.

"Get outta here, snake," the crook snarled. "We don't like strangers here!"

"Okay, okay, I can understand that," Face smiled, backing off. "But keep an eye out, huh? Those yellow-backs--whooo
eee! One bite and you are gone, gone, gone in ten minutes flat! Have a happy day now!" He got in the van and drove away.

"Boy's in the back room," Face reported to Hannibal. "Just a glimpse, but he's there. He looks okay and I don't think he's tied up."

"B.A., we need something to get up close with. Face, I want you to sneak around to the back and get the kid put while we distract them out front." Face gulped thinking of the shotguns, but he nodded.

"Take two, three hours, Hannibal," B.A. said. "I saw some stuff at that junk yard about four miles back."

"Go to it. Murdock, you go with him. Face and I'll stay here, see they don't run off or . . ."

"Or kill the boy," the pilot said. "Right. C'mon, B.A., let's go rig up a suitable diversion."

Monday, October 13, 2008

Wait for It


I'm too tired to give you the latest in A-Team action. Maybe tomorrow.

We're Heeeeere!


We made it in under 11 hours with stops for Phoebe feeding, dinner, gas (twice), and driver switching. Amazing!

Also, the Packers won. Life is good.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Wessa Goin' Home!


Forgive me for quoting Jar-Jar Binks, but somethings are just worth getting excited about.

We should be on the road in a couple of hours. See you all really soon.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Intermission


Think of this as a commercial break. Remember those from the pre-Tivo days of yore?

Truth be told, I only had two votes on the most recent poll with less than hour to go. I know it's Friday and you all have better things to do. I've extended the poll to Monday night. In the meantime, it's back to original content. Honestly, I'm a little A-Teamed out.

I skipped out of school early to take in Midlore. Traditionally, the middler class (second years) puts on a surprise show for the junior class (first years). I've had to miss the last two years, but things almost worked out perfectly this year. I say almost because I did have to sneak out of the building right after my third-block class. (Ah, the anonymity of a screen name.)

I don't go back to teach until the 20th. By then, I'll be in the final third of my post-a-day challenge. Let's see if I can knuckle down and actually post each day as we travel back to Wisconsin.

Wish me luck . . . and cheese.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Danger Maze, part VII


Staying well behind, Murdock trailed the other helicopter until it set down at an isolated ranch on the edge of the bleak Mojave Desert. Hannibal ordered the ship down to escape detection. They called in B.A. and Face in the van and in about two hours they were lying in a dusty gulley, armed to the teeth, watching the weathered ranch house.

"What's the plan Hannibal?" B.A. asked gruffly, "We go chargin' in or what?"

"Guile, Sergeant, guile. Face, you got something on you to sell, Something you can go up to the house about?"

"Nope. So I'll sell sizzle not steak. B.A., the keys to the van please."

"You be careful with that van, Face," B.A. frowned. Face nodded earnestly. They all knew the big burly ex-sergeant hated anything happening to his precious van.

Twenty minutes later they saw the van come into the deserted-seeming ranch, trailing dust.

"Get ready to move in," Hannibal said. B.A. checked the load in his machine gun.



The deadly rancher on page 46.
The con begins on page 47.

______________________

Almost didn't make it. I got caught up in playing Lego Star Wars on my Gamecube.

Now is it just me or didn't Hannibal knock B.A. out a few pages back so that they could get him into the helicopter? How can he and Face roll up in the van a couple hours later if they ditched the van in favor of bringing along their "hulking black?"

I see the Danger Maze beginning to crumble.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Danger Maze, part VI


"He's on the jazz," B.A. growled. "He loves the chase."

"Don't we?" Face grinned.

B.A. gave a reluctant smile in return. "Yeah, I guess we do. But we gotta remember that little boy's hidden away somewhere and we hafta find him."

They left the van--their arms filled with weapons. They watched the helicopter lift off and a moment later Murdock's borrowed chopper dropped down. "I'll follow them in the van," B.A. said.

"Oops!" Hannibal said, taking his machine gun and "accidentally" thumping B.A. in the head.

"You know, Hannibal," Face complained, "I do wish we could cure B.A. of his fear of flying. It would be a lot better on his head too."

"Stop complaining and help me lift him. Ooof! He ought to lose weight or I should get stronger. Okay, Murdock, up, up and away."

"South, southeast, Colonel," Murdock reported. "Mexico, maybe?"

"No, I don't think so. Border Patrol's pretty alert. Look, they're swinging toward the desert. Stay up and right behind, in their blind spot."

"Roger-dodger,
mon colonel."


Where old airplanes go to die on page 33.
Strategy on page 34.

_____________________________

Another day, another poll. I'll close it tomorrow night. "Gotta" go. (If B.A. can have his words set down that way, so can I.)

Be back here in 24 hours!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Danger Maze, part V


Templeton Peck lay in the underbush that bordered the Hollywood Freeway. Even at three in the morning there was traffic. Big rigs going both ways, bakery vans and late night revelers roared by. A few feet away were the Ellersons, hood up, Marjii in the seat, Frank looking under the hood. A California Highway Patrol car had stopped, made an inquiry and told them there was an emergency phone three hundred yards along. Frank had grinned and said it happened to the old heap every once in awhile and that he'd have it going in a few moments.

They waited. Face started as a chicken clucked near him, disturbed by a deep-throated honk from a truck. Then he remembered that over ten years before a chicken truck had overturned, and all of the escaped chickens had never been recovered.

A car rolled to a stop behind the Ellerson car and just sat there, lights on, for a moment. "I think it's going down," Face said into his radio.

"Hang in there," Hannibal responded from Murdock's chopper two thousand feet above.

It went down quickly. Ellerson got out the flightbag of money, pretended to stumble, fell to his knees and grabbed the kidnapper's bumper to push himself up.

"Tracer attached," Face reported.

One of the masked men grabbed the bag, both jumped back and the car dug out and left with a squeal of rubber.

In moments, B.A.'s treasured van pulled up and Face was off with a jaunty wave at the Ellersons.

"South on the Harbor Freeway," Hannibal said. A bit later he reported that their quarry had turned west off the Santa Monica Freeway. They went all the way to the end, then south into Marina Del Rey.

"A boat do you think?" Face asked over the radio.

"Hang in there and we'll see," Hannibal said.

Dawn was breaking as their quarry came to a stop. "Uh-oh," Face said to B.A. The sign ahead said
Helicopter Landing Area--Unauthorized Personnel Keep Out.

"I see it, Face," Hannibal said from above. "Luckily, I plan for every contingency."

__________________________

Now we've got feral chickens added to the mix. This is turning out to be the best young reader kidnapping story I've ever read. I'm glad I skipped the debates for this. (No, really. No, I don't care that they're in Nashville.)

Totally unrelated: we saw Charlie Bartlett tonight. Great film. If I said anything more I'd ruin it.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Danger Maze, part IV


"They want the switch done on the freeway," Frank Ellerson said.

"
On the freeway?" asked B.A. with a frown.

Ellerson nodded. "Near the downtown cloverleaf. They can be on four different freeways in moments. Impossible to follow."

"difficult, yes," grinned Hannibal Smith, "but not impossible. Murdock, can you still borrow that chopper from your friend at the Van Nuys Airport?"

Murdock nodded.

"B.A., can you rig a couple of tracers, one for the money and one for their car?"

The hulking black nodded.

"Two?" Marjii Ellerson asked.

"They might expect one, but that'll be a decoy. Now tell me the rest"

Frank Ellerson pointed out on a map where they were supposed to fake car trouble. The kidnappers' car would probably pass by, check out the scene, and come back, stopping to "help." Frank said he and his wife had had to be there alone, or the kidnappers wouldn't stop. "That's all right." Hannibal said. "It's what happens after they get paid that counts."


Tension on the freeway on page 12.

The switch begins on page 13.

__________________________

Okay, it was the eighties and all, but there's no way the phrase "hulking black" flies.

It's Monday and you've got another vote to cast. You'll have until Tuesday night to decide.

Hey! As of today, I've posted for a week straight. Yay, me!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Danger Maze, part III


So, our first poll results are in. Apparently, Half of you enjoy the suffering of children enough to read up on a kidnapping.

On a personal note, I was able to bring in $200 this weekend bartending for Parent Weekend. It feels good stretching those muscles again, I received several compliments from the party hosts. It sounds like I have some work to look forward to if the university decides to relax their recent restrictions.

Enough with the jibba-jabba, foo'! Let's get on with it.

________________________


Frank Ellerson looked grim. "They've got our son. His name is Andy and they just took him."

"Who took him?" B.A. asked.

"Kidnappers," Marjorie said. "He's just a boy, just twelve last month. A
child."

"What have the police said?" Face asked.

"They say he's a runaway, they won't help." Frank grumbled. "But we got a call. Fifty thousand dollars by Thursday."

Hannibal frowned. "Fifty? These days, the ransoms are generally higher."

Ellerson nodded. "For millionaires and corporations, yes. We're well off, Mister Smith, but fifty thousand would almost ruin us."

"You're not gonna pay?" snapped B.A.

"Oh, we'll pay, no question of that," Frank said. "But, well, I'd like a little better guarantee we'll get Andy back."

"I've heard about some kidnap gangs," Race said. "Hit middle-class families, kill the kid, no witnesses."

"I also don't like the idea of taking this lying down," Ellerson said, his face dark. "These savages come in, steal a boy possibly
kill him--"

"Oh, Frank--!" Marjorie said.

"I can't help it, Marjii, I just want to fightback!" Frank snapped. He looked at Hannibal. "About the ransom for Andy--will you handle the switch? If you can get our boy back safe, that's what's important." He grinned savagely. "But if you can take out these goons, so much the better! You do that, Mister Smith, and you keep the fifty thousand."

Hannibal looked at Mrs. Ellerson, who was biting her lip. "Do you agree, ma'am?"

"I just want my boy back. It doesn't matter about the money. We can always make more money."

"Ma'am, we'll try our best. Now, tell us the details of the switch."


________________________

Sorry about leaving you without a decision again. These passages are quite long. Longer than I remember at least. Maybe I'm just not used to typing.

Anyway, thanks for coming and I'll type at you tomorrow.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Danger Maze, part II


"Yeah. I followed them ever since they left the market parking lot. They're clean."

To the puzzled looks of the Ellersons Hannibal smiled. "We have to be careful. Come on in the back." With a courtly gesture, Hannibal parted the way through the thick-packed clothes for the couple.

~#~

"This is Templeton Peck," Hannibal said. "We call him Face, for obvious reasons. You met B.A. Baracus, and the gentleman talking to the potted plant in Captain Murdock."

"Howling Mad Murdock?" Frank Ellerson said.

"Yes, do you know him?" Hannibal asked.

"He's a legend in every flying club around here. Glad to make your acquaintance, Captain Murdock."

"Careful!" snapped Murdock. "Do you know French? No? Darn. I think this plant would
really get itself together and grow if I could talk to it in French. How about Swahili? Even Italian might do. No?" He turned his attention to the potted plant and quietly murmured to it.

"Mister Smith, or should I call you Colonel?" Mrs. Ellerson asked.

"Hannibal is just fine."

"Hannibal, we've lost something very precious to us and we desperately need someone to help us."

"We checked you out through . . . a friend . . . and it really does seem as though you are out on a limb," Hannibal said, "but we don't know the exact details."

"We'll pay," Frank Ellerson said quickly. "We know you fellas are on the run and need money. I was a military man myself, but I know they can make mistakes."

"We'll discuss payment later," Hannibal said. "Now, tell us your problem."

"Hush little baby, don't you cry," Murdock sang. Ellerson gave him a puzzled glance, then started to tell their story.



To follow the plight of a kidnapped boy, turn to page 5.
To see how close the A-Team comes to the end of the world, proceed to page 7.
To read about the stolen horse, go to page 8.

________________________

Alright, we've come to our first decision. Make your selecton in the poll on the right.

I have some bartending to do today so I've got to book. Thanks for coming.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Danger Maze, part I


The A-Team Plot it Yourself II: The Danger Maze
by William Rotsler

Ten years ago, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime its members didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground.

Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem and no one else can help . . . and if you can find them . . . maybe you can hire . . . The A-Team.

~#~


The bell over the door jingled as a middle-aged couple stepped cautiously into the Chinese laundry. They looked around at the empty counter and the racks of plastic-covered clothing.

“Oh!” the woman said as the heavyset figure of a white-haired Chinese man appeared.

“What you want?” the proprietor snapped in irritation.

“We . . . uh . . . dear, you tell him,” the woman said, clutching the arm of her husband.

“Yes, well.” The man cleared his throat. “We, ah, we’re looking for some men . . . um . . .”

“Men? We have no men!” the Chinese man growled. “Clothes, we have clothes!”

“Yes, um, well . . . these are particular men. We were told to come here . . .”

The Chinese man slammed open the gate in the counter and the couple stepped back as he stepped quickly to the door, turned the sign to Closed, and pulled down the curtain.

“No, wait,” the husband said, but the Chinese man was smiling at them.

“You are the Ellersons?” he asked

"Your accent—" the woman said.

"Ellerson? Frank and Marjorie?"

"Yes," the husband said, "but we're looking for these, um, veterans, I guess you'd call them."

"The A-Team," Marjorie said.

The Chinese laundryman grabbed his hair and pulled off his wig. A few tugs at his wispy beard and a grinning "Hannibal" Smith was looking at them.

Marjorie gave another start as a large muscular black man emerged from behind the racks. "Everything okay, B.A.?" Hannibal asked him.

_________________________

Well, that's it for today, folks. Sorry there's no decision to make yet, but all these interactive books start this way: a relatively long stretch of prose setting up the sitch'. I promise we'll have our first poll up tomorrow. In the meantime, how 'bout that completely racist disguise Hannibal was wearing? Ah, the '80s!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Welcome to "The Danger Maze"


Here it is. The moment I've been hyping for two days now. Today is the day I introduce my readers to a literary pinnacle. I humbly present William Rotsler's The A-Team Plot It Yourself II: The Danger Maze.

The Plot It Yourself series seems to be knock off of the hugely popular Choose Your Own Adventure series. I was a reluctant reader in my early years and I owe any voluntary exposure to the written word during that time to CYOA. As we all know, no phenomenon is complete without its imitators. I thought that's what Find Your Fate and Which Way Books were for. Apparently not.

Plot It Yourself holds the distinction of having the laziest sounding name of any book series . . . ever. This particular edition was penned by William Rotsler. A look at his Wikipedia page reveals him to have been, in Monkey-Girl's words, "a prolific hack". One thing's for sure: he loved him some punctuation. Just glancing over the text makes one wonder if someone was holding his mother hostage, demanding the submission of a manuscript with no fewer than eight-dozen ellipses. God rest his soul.

Through the use of Blogspot's polling tool, you the readers of Penguin Postings will be choosing your own adventure, finding your fate, deciding which way, and--dare I say--plotting it for yourselves. Your canvas: The Danger Maze. (Which always gets Kenny Loggins' "Danger Zone" in my head.)

If you haven't already, please sign up as a follower on the right. It's nice to know I'm doing this for someone other than me.

We'll start the literary throw-down tomorrow. See you here.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

And Away We Go!


The National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo) is a challenge to bloggers to post every day for a month. The organization used to focus on the month of November, but they have since expanded to year-round monthly themes. This month's: VOTE.

Well my take is going to be a little different than I'm sure they were expecting.

This country is in a mess. You and I know it. The candidates know it. This is a very important election. That cannot be overstated.

Here's the twist. I'm not going to tell you who you should vote for. How should I know? I thought it was a clear-cut decision. Recent events have caused me to rethink that. We all have to make this decision on our own.

I'm not even going to bother telling you how to research this decision. No matter what resources I sight for you some extremist is going to say I'm horribly biased.

In conclusion, your on your own this Super Tuesday.

So what am I going to do the other thirty days of October. Something fun and WAY less serious than discussing politics. We'll be reading a book together.

All you lingerers are going to have to pitch in on this. Think of it as practice for November. Tell your friends to come and check out the sight. I promise it'll be fun, and the more the merrier.

I won't spoil the surprise now. You'll have to come back tomorrow to see what it is.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Line in the Sand


Enough! I've had it with myself. I need to post more often. To that end, I've signed Penguin Postings up for a 31-day post challenge. I will be posting every day in October. The chosen theme is Vote.

Let's see what we can do with that. Come back tomorrow, and often!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Cure-All Breakfast

Good french toast can make you forget what a rough week you've had. Then again, it probably helped that I just avoided Friday entirely. After the car stuff earlier and the school stuff I didn't even mention here this week needed to end prematurely. (Thank God for substitutes!)

I started my Saturday by making Monkey-Girl and her parents a breakfast of french toast and bacon. I enjoy cooking for others, and my audiences rarely hold back the appreciation and praise. This recipe was no exception.

After breakfast I got to play Dungeons & Dragons with my geek crew. Nice.

Later we had grilled burgers while we watched Spider-Man 3. Very nice.

Today was a great recharge, and it all started with breakfast. Let me know if you want that recipe.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Braking My Spirit

I try not to make this blog into a glorified whine session. Bare with me. At least appreciate my clever play on words.

Our Volkswagen's brake light switch died. So the brake lights were constantly burning even when the car wasn't running. Fortunately, VW has a recall on that particular part so they'll replace it for free. Unfortunately, we had to get it replaced at a dealership over an hour's drive away and in the eastern time zone. Still, we could work that. Then the VW's battery died right before we were supposed to leave. However; friend, Jason, was great enough to give us a jump start.

We were determined to make. We could have made it. We SHOULD have made it.

Then the accident happened.

NOT TO US! A car on it's way to Chattanooga was in an accident ahead of us. That's why we were crawling on the interstate for twenty minutes. That's why Phoebe (normally an excellent car rider) started to cry ferociously. The next exit was into downtown Chattanooga. We pulled into the Visitors Center parking lot and were immediately offered the use of someone's parking tag. (A bright spot to the evening.) Monkey-Girl changed Phoebe out of our trunk while I finally found the correct fuse to pull to get those darn brake lights off.

In order order to salvage the night, I asked that we go to TGI Friday's. It was nice, but Monkey-Girl's meal was cut short as she had to feed Phoebe. (We hadn't properly prepared for me to be able to feed her.) I finished and joined my girls in the VW. Needed a bit more of a boost, we found our way to the Ben & Jerry's Scoop Shop. Sated, we trudged home, the car no better off than when we had started.

The next day, I drove the VW another hour away (different direction) to another VW dealership. The repair is done, but the toll has been taken. Thank goodness my in-laws are coming to relieve us this weekend!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Of Bonding and Undeath

So my friend, Vic, needed to geek out. (His words, not mine.) I got him started playing Dungeons & Dragons and now he's gotten into collecting the miniatures. Unfortunately, the nearest gaming retailer is over an hour away. With cash burning a hole in his pocket, he did the only reasonable thing. He called for a nerd roadtrip.

Monkey-Girl was too busy playing catch-up to watch Phoebarino. I thought my participation was a no-go. Then Monkey-Girl said the words my sleep deprived brain was beginning to think about possibly forming.

"What if you take Phoebe with you?"

Had Wil been up to it, we would have totally had a three-men-and-a-baby geekfest. Without Wil, Vic and I both had to be 50% more nerdy. I decked Phoebelicious out in her Dungeons & Dragons onesie, checked the diaper bag, and filled a bottle. Mission accomplished.

Since Vic drove, I bought dinner. We had a really nice time just talking about stuff and hanging out. Phoebe was great and only cried when she was hungry. I felt good removing distractions from Monkey-Girl.

While at the gaming store I picked up a little something to assist my Dungeon Mastering, a bag of relatively cheap figures I can use to represent hoards of creatures attacking my players.

Oh, Bag 'o Zombies where have you been all of my life? Why do I love you so?
  1. You supplement a game named Zombies!!! (that's right, three exclamation marks) that no one I know has even heard of.
  2. You'll cause me to make sure I've cleaned well lest the baby choke while eating zombies.
  3. Because of you, when asked, "how much did you spend?" I was able to say, "$22 with dinner and zombies."
  4. Quiet simply, you're chock full of a hundred glow-in-the-dark zombie figures.

Perhaps it's all of the above.

Check out Phoebe's pictures! There are, as of today, one-hundred of them.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Taking Time to Notice

With all the craziness lately, it can be difficult to appreciate the wonderful things God has to show me.

I took this picture last week while watching Phoebe. Monkey-Girl was at the library studying. Phoebe was still in her carrier just beginning to fuss. Mercutio was doing his thing. I saw this dew-dabbled web and thought, "I should take a picture of that, but there's so much else to do."

Then something else reminded me that the other things could wait.

I'm glad I did.

Please, take the time to sign up as a follower of this blog at the right. Knowing I have an audience encourages me to keep posting.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Frazz Is Therapy for My Soul

Today's Frazz comic by Jef Mallet is a a perfect example of why I love this strip. I particularly like the one-two punch of the teacher not leaving tips (not an issue here as I'm a former bartender) and riding on a converging train (think about it).

Frazz is a successful songwriter turned janitor at his old elementary school. He is also the school's most respected educator. Caulfield is a precocious young man who always seems to be getting into trouble for knowing more than his teacher. Early on the the series there was an extended period of time devoted to poking fun at standardized testing. Caulfield got a very low score as he refused to take the high-stakes test seriously and used the answer sheet to create pixilated versions of great works of art.

Some teachers love Frazz. Others despise it. They see the jabs at the mentality of the system as pokes at themselves. I say that if you are offended you should examine why. Personally, I see Frazz as a touchstone. I never want to be like Mrs. Olsen.

Why am I a math educator? To get young people to solve quadratic equations by completing the square? I should hope not. I see my time with students as a way of preparing them to solve life's problems. The way through any difficulty can be examined as a series of simple steps and procedures. The challenge comes from going from the concrete (problems in the book) to the abstract (securing a mortgage).

You can check Frazz out for yourself each day by clicking here.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

A Little Inspiration

The pun is completely intentional.

I am one of the few people on the internet to have purchased this action figure without any irony. If you know me at all, you know I love toys. A few years ago I was reading through Toy Fare, a magazine devoted to . . . uh . . . toys. I saw this figure and others from the line posed with some sophomoric caption. Looking to my toy shelf and seeing a significant lack of messiahs, I rushed to secure my very own son of man.

I've got to say that even though it isn't the focus of any toy display of mine, my occasional glance this figure's way results in a smile and lightened heart every time.

Train Up A Child, Inc. sells the above Jesus action figure along with a host (again, the pun is intentional) of other biblical action figures. The six-inch scale figures are available in light and dark skinned varieties for $6.95.

There were other Jesus action figures out there, but most of those didn't seem to have the same intentionality. Hopefully your search for a plastic savior replica will offer more variety with the same respect.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Phoebe, Meet and Old Friend of Mine

While Monkey-Girl is hitting the books at the seminary, Phoebe and I are indulging in some quality time. She'll be eight weeks old on Monday. I feel it's high time she was indoctrinated into the ways of that story from a long time ago and a galaxy far, far away.

Today we've seen The Phantom Menace and are currently watching Attack of the Clones. Perhaps we'll continue our personal marathon tomorrow.

Sorry so short, but The Saga calls.