The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

I've borrowed tonight's entry title from a novel by the late Douglas Adams. It's a play on St. John of the Cross' Dark Night of the Soul. In summary, the Dark Night refers to a period of spiritual growth when one feels an absence of God. It can be very difficult to get through, but most find it to be a great blessing. A recent reporting of this phenomenon involves Mother Theresa of Calcutta. Her journals, made public after her death in 2007, report the longest Dark Night on record. There is one reference to Jesus as the Absent One.

Now, Douglas Adams was satirizing this phenomenon, but I'm going to chose to use his title as similar but lesser crisis. As I listen to the rain and look to our future, I have to admit it's hard to hear God's voice or see His hand in all of this. After stepping out in faith, returning to school, going further into debt, getting licenced to teach, moving to Tennessee, and supporting Monkey-Girl through three years of seminary we're stuck without a job for her. She's been told many times that it's not about finding a job, it's discernment. The places we've felt most called to have rejected her out of hand. My suspicion is they don't want to hire someone right out of seminary. The rejections come too quickly for any real consideration to have taken place. At this point, we'd take a job anywhere from anyone willing to "take a chance" on hiring a thirty-year-old, female as a priest. Where's the discernment there?

I've listened to Chris Rice's Amusing while writing this. The storm is over. From the living room, I hear Monkey-Girl playing We Love Katamari. I see my Jesus action figure out of the corner of my eye. I know we'll be fine. It's just between here and fine that's . . . well, you know.

Thanks Harriet.