Advent, Day One

Hound: See sideswipe? I told you the view here would be worth the drive. Aren't you glad you came?

Sideswipe: Yeah, it's very--uh...woodsey. You DO realize I'm a sports car, right. Driving around in the forest is murder on my paint job.



Hound: You're telling me this scenery doesn't inspire you? Come on! We're living on Earth. Don't you don't you think it's time we Autobots got into the spirit of the human celebration?



Sideswipe: Spirit. That and a good buffer will take care of these scratches. You want to know about the humans' winter holiday? Go to a mall--you know, that's a good idea.



Hound: Where are you going?

Sideswipe: The mall. See you later, Hound.



Hound: I guess that leaves me all by myself to discover the meaning of Christmas.

?????: You need a hand with that?



Hound: What the--?

Santa: I asked if you needed a hand discovering the meaning of Christmas?



Hound: Who are you, fleshy?

Santa: I'm Santa Claus. Some would say I'm something of a Christmas expert. If you'd like, I'll help you discover the meaning of it.

Hound: That would be wonderful. How?

Santa: First, look up.

Hound: This must be an Earth metaphor for seeking the guidance of a perceived higher power. We Transformers recognize Primus as our creator--

Santa: No, no, no. Look up!



Hound: Oh, literally.

Santa: Yeah. I'll explain as we go. We've got to get to the top of that thing.



Santa: ...and so each day leading up to Christmas you'll open a door in this box and collect a present.

Hound: Presents in anticipation of presents?

Santa: Yeah, just like appetizers at a buffet.

Hound: Humans seem to be obsessed with consumption.

Santa: Mostly just the Americans, but it's cool to assume the rest of the world thinks like them. The Americans do it themselves all the time.



Hound: I got a bush and two birds.

Santa: There's an aphorism in there, too.

Hound: Fun! There's something I was wondering about, though. How is getting presents going to teach me the meaning of Christmas?



Santa: You'll find it. Now excuse me while I make good my escape. This bird's eyeing my head chain.

Hound: About that--

Santa: Bye bye! Enjoy discovering the meaning of Christmas.



Hound: But Santa, there's so much I have to ask you.

Ironhide: Who ya yellin' at, Hound?



Hound: Hey, Ironhide, I was asking Santa Claus to explain the meaning of Christmas, but he's got me opening presents all month

Ironhide: ....



Hound: Ironhide?

Ironhide: Shhhh...you've got an organic on you. Hold still and I'll take care of it for you.