Pyro: Where am I?Santa: Where you need to be.
Pyro: Who said that?
Santa: That question should be at the bottom of your list, young man. Better to ask, "What task have I been given?"
Pyro: I'm a robot actually, not a "young man" as you say, and unless you can get me off of this . . . whatever this is, I will have to ask you to kindly leave me alone.
Santa: You are a British citizen that has functioned for seventeen years. Your Optimus Prime may think he's too good to listen to me just because he's millions of years old; but if you think THIS cultural icon is going to take lip from someone who wasn't alive to see Michael Keaton's Batman in the theaters, you've got another think coming!
Pyro: I do beg your pardon, sir. I am a little disoriented. Am I to assume that you are Saint Nicholas? Could you, perhaps, miracle us out of here?
Santa: Nikolaos? That old Turk? No, no. I'm Santa Claus, the embodiment of the secular western observance of Christmas, but since you asked. *snap*
Pyro: That was . . . impressive I must say, but a desert island is not exactly the destination I had in mind.Santa: You only said you wanted off the Advent calendar. You never specified a destination. Besides, it doesn't work that way.
Santa: You, my limey friend, have been charged with a grave responsibility. You are to be the keeper of this year's Advent Calendar.Pyro: What if I refuse?
Santa: The death of millions will be on your head.
Pyro: Truly?
Santa: No, but you won't get home.
Santa: The job is simple. Each day you will open up a box from the calendar and collect the present for that day.Pyro: And when it's done, I'll be able to go home?
Santa: I guess.
Pyro: . . .
Pyro: Now I see why Megatron has so many underlings. It's hard enough trying to get things done with this little arm gun. He must be nearly helpless with that cannon.Santa: You're doing fine. Whatever happened to that storied stiff upper lip you Brits are always boasting of?
Pyro: It's broken.
Santa: It is not. You just have to assemble it. You'll see. Once you've got it together you'll be filled with Christmas spirit and the next twenty-four days will just fly by.
Pyro: ...
Santa: ...
Pyro: It's a palm tree. How is this supposed to fill me with yule-tide joy?
Santa: Results may vary. Santa, out. Peace!
2 comments:
'Tis the season for Advent Calendars! Aaron and my's calendars only have crappy chocolate in them, but they're still awesome.
X-Entertainment is running its annual advent calendar as well. He's toned it down a bit this year, but that just makes it more accessible.
You won't believe the ham.
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